Why do we always feel so guilty about relaxing? My neighbour Mr Sarcophagus Jones is a good example. He is like the original blue arsed fly – always flitting somewhere, always busy and on the go…. And what does he achieve? Well, his garden is now so over-gardened that virtually nothing will grow there any more. Even the lawn gave up and he has installed some Astroturf this year.

He is now cladding every available area of stonework with plastic. You have never seen anything like it. In this part of the world there is plenty of stone – full of character, great to work with. But this isn’t good enough for Sarcophagus Jones. Oh no. Out comes the two by one battening and he’s off, covering everything in plastic cladding and when there’s nothing left to cover he builds some more walls and covers those.

Our local master wall-builder, Mog the Brick is horrified. Whenever he spots old Sarcophagus nowadays he’s foaming at the mouth. For those of you new to this blog, Mog is the greatest layer of natural stone the planet has probably ever seen. And Sarcophagus Jones learned his trade from a Master of the Dark Arts.

But I digress. The most worrying thing about all this endless activity is the fact that I just cannot see when my neighbour ever relaxes. I don’t know him well enough to ask why this should be. But look around and you will see that many people have the same problem (although not all resort to Astroturf and plastic as a solution.) They simply cannot relax. And when they do, they feel guilty.

My other half is a very laid back sort of bloke and always has been. Every year, his New Year’s Resolution is the same: Take it Easy. And he’s got a point. The opposite of selfish isn’t selfless – it’s doormat. Because selfish is one extreme – the other is the doormat who allows others to trample his or her dreams.

Most of us of a certain age were brought up to think that we should put others first. That it was somehow wrong to ever go after our own desires. Nowadays we are told that society is heading the opposite way, breeding a load of selfish brats who wouldn’t understand altruism if it came up and shoved a wet fish down their cardigan. The trouble is, that the selfish brats don’t take notice of criticism. They are so wrapped up in their own little world, such legends in their own lunchtime that they never think it applies to them.

The doormats however, are horrified. At the opposite end of the spectrum they believe it MUST apply to them, and so hurry to lay down their lives just that little bit more.

Now stop it. This is your life. There’s no dress rehearsal. No matter what we may believe about an afterlife (or lack of it) there’s no way we are supposed to make ourselves invisible just so that others can have what they want. All that talk about it being better to give than to receive – just think about it… if nobody was willing to receive how the heck could anybody give?

So don’t be afraid to relax. To indulge. To take on board W.H. Davies’ words ‘What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?’ Put down what you’re doing. Stop it. Decide to have a few minutes every day that are just for you. It doesn’t matter what you do with them . Do nothing if you like – they’re your minutes.

And in case you’re wondering, here is the rest of the poem:

"LEISURE"

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Okay, sermon over. Go and have fun – and then PLEASE – come back here and tell me what you did!

Seeking the Green by Tylluan Penry, published soon by Capall Bann. For more info - watch this space!